Sunday, October 30, 2011

Disjointed Musings on Becoming the Elderly.

You know, I sat down to say a little something sentimental about our trip to the pumpkin patch a while ago, and then maybe add a cute little ditty about Elk Fest at Estes Park and wrap it up with some thoughts and funny musings about Wyoming's Frontier Days. But those musings just aren't there tonight.

I turned thirty last January. As far as birthdays go, it was kind of lame. I had a brand new baby, twin toddlers and Caleb to hang out with. Ricky worked a twelve hour day and then we went out to dinner. I'm not complaining (okay, maybe I'm complaining a little), but it really just wasn't the big deal that I guess it's supposed to be. Big Stuff's supposed to happen when you're thirty, right? I mean that's when Jesus started His ministry and everything.... I'd say that's Big Stuff. David became king at thirty, more Big Stuff. I'm no Jesus or King David, but I'm a girl that longs for the Big Stuff in my life.

Ricky and I have been talking a lot about the "American Dream" lately. I mean, what is that now anyway? Is it still having a couple of kids and living all safe and snug in the suburbs? Because without really trying, Ricky and I are surprisingly dangerously close to that "Dream" life. And that totally freaks me out. I'm not opposed to houses, suburbs or safety- but that life seems very at odds with the Big Stuff that our souls are just crying out for in Jesus. Big Stuff like denying ourselves to follow Jesus- forsaking everything else in the world in the pursuit of our King. I'm passionate when I highlight those passages in my Bible, but is that where it stops?

I don't want to stop at being a passionate highlighter. I want to be as close to my King and His throne of grace as I can be on this earth. I desperately want that to be our American Dream.

I think that turning thirty has made the danger of settling for less in life that much more real. I mean when we were twenty and just newly married babes, what did we have to lay down? We didn't have any cash, career, reputation, health benefits, retirement savings or security anyway, we just had a lot of excitement and passion. But now..... I mean we still don't have any cash, but the other stuff is there. It's much harder to lay junk down when you actually have it. Throw in four precious little kids, and it's impossibly easy to let them become your excuses to avoid the rough edges of society that Jesus came and died for. Jesus touched lepers, but I will stroll my sweet Baby Jogger City Mini as fast as it'll go when there are (gasp) homeless people on the corner.

Man, being honest with yourself sucks.

All of that to say, I don't know if Denver is our last stop. I don't know if Ricky's always going to be a truck driver. All I know is that we want the kind of heart-pumping, breath-taking, battle-crying life with Jesus that he wants for us. Like when you're sitting in the movie theater watching Narnia or Lord of The Rings and it's all you can do to just sit quietly in your seat, because in your heart you're swinging some gnarly axe or sword and just ripping the enemies guts out and shouting some awesome victory cry. Where is that happening? Because (in the words of Liz Lemon), "I want to go to there."

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

my greatest idea yet.

The girls and I go to Target and Walmart a lot. Like a lot, a lot. The two that are closest to us have those awesome three seater carts (Caleb calls them train carts) that actually make it possible for me to strap in all three of the little girls at the same time. I seriously love those carts- if I didn't know Jesus I would hook one up to the back of our Jeep and tow it home. It would make picking Caleb up from school lifetimes easier. It's not uncommon for us to circle the parking lot of Target or Walmart with Lotta and Jovie singing "train cart! train cart!" while I try to find one to park next to. How much cooler would it be to roll up with my own train cart? Man, I love those carts.

Stealing a train cart is not the greatest idea I have, though.

One out of every three or four times I go to Walmart someone asks me if I'm in a reality show. Seriously. It's weird. Maybe I look like Mama Duggar or Kim Kardashian, but really? I have four kids, not fourteen. Do I look that tired? That dramatic? But that question got me thinking about my own reality show:

Benders Across America

I figure we'll take my man's passions for trucking and our family, mash them together and we'll go over-the-road trucking as a family. So good, right? Instead of saving money to buy a house we'll buy a big rig with a super cab, build a ton of bunk beds into it and I'll homeschool the kids while we adventure across America- kind of an Ice Road Truckers meets Sesame Street meets the Duggar family. I'd watch it. It'd be a killer show.

I pitched it to Ricky and he said no because he doesn't want us to get divorced.


But I'm still working on him. So don't steal my idea- I'll find you. But if you steal a train cart let me know.

Benders Across America!!