Tuesday, January 22, 2013

pinterest. also, I'm crazy.

I'm going to be honest- I'm competitive. And I think pinterest might just kill me.

At first pinterest and I had a fun relationship- recipes and fun diy tutorials, good ideas for home organization and decorating. I love that stuff. I'm a mom, and so I guess it's only natural that many of the pins I'm drawn to originate from the awesome mommy blogs. You know these blogs- these are the moms who can cook the most fabulous gluten free kid friendly meal in their perfectly pin-worthy home as their homeschooled kids create some awesome craft that corresponds perfectly to whatever holiday is approaching. As she waits for her husband to come home she might look out into her perfectly (diy) landscaped backyard that has just the right amount of funky and beautiful mason jars along with the most amazing herb garden ever and she'll pray one of the thirty-one things you ought to pray for your husband everyday. Maybe she'll put on the apron that she made last week, so she doesn't ruin the awesome shirt she just crafted from one of her husbands dress shirts.

I am not that mom.

Thankfully, I've never even met that mom. But somehow when I read these blogs I'm comparing myself to her. And I get a little bit worried about this impossible internet wonder woman that I'm now in competition with in my head.

I sound crazy, right? I do. I totally sound nutty. Please don't stop being my friend. I need friends.

Since we've already determined that I'm a kook, I'll just keep going and dig my hole a little deeper. I was thinking about this pinterest issue the other night and I think what's happening is that it's breeding discontentment with the life I have now as I pin and pin and pin away at my dream life. The small and cute birthday party I was thinking of having for my girls now needs to be pin-worthy.  And when I say pin-worthy, I mean it would be featured in a magazine and professionally photographed (by me, of course.)  It's not enough to sit and color with my kids- we need to be making our own gak and play dough. Even my clothes are affected! I don't think I've ever worn something that would be found on pinterest- I'm 5'3 and I have four kids. I don't have time to know how to knot my scarf 50 different ways. I'm doing good if the scarf is clean. I used to be okay with that stuff, but now it makes me feel guilty and lame.

I've crossed the line. And just now it's dawning on me: I need a reality check. I'm competing against fantasy land.

I'm a Christian. In the New Testament of the Bible, the Pharisees are not the good guys. Jesus is the good guy. Unfortunately, I usually relate most with the Pharisees. The Pharisees didn't recognize their imperfections and lameness- they were too busy being awesome and perfect. But it's our lameness and our imperfections that scream out for our need to rescued by Someone who has no lameness and no imperfections. That would be Jesus. I can remember hearing the story of the prodigal son as a kid and totally thinking that the older brother is justified in being all bummed out that his stupid prodigal brother gets a party for coming home after wrecking his life. Hello, the older brother represents the Pharisees in that story. The point is, we're all prodigals- not one of us is perfect. Not in our hearts, our thoughts, our homes, our clothes, our parenting, our cooking, our blogging, or relationships. And when we think we're living up to an impossible standard we can only be disappointed.

I know this is just about pinterest and me being crazy. But to the mommies, to my friends, to me- let's spur each other on in getting our Matthew 6:33 on. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." And when we fall on our faces and suck at life, we can know that we're not alone. And we know it's okay because of who our Savior is, and we know we aren't forgiven and sanctified by our pin-worthy awesome lives.

I'm so quick to get caught up in my pride one minute, and then wrecked by envying someone else's achievements in the next. But when we're content because of who Jesus is and who we are in Him, we're free. (Galatians 5:22-26)

I'm free. And I'm so done competing with the fantasy land mom who lives at anthropologie.